Not Now, Not Ever
by squeakypenguins17
Summary: "Gary, I've made up my mind..I'm going to Unova!" "But why!" "Because..we can't just runaway and leave home thinking no one will come looking for us!" "You can't go..." "Why not?" "Because, I love you to much to let you go." Palletshipping one-shot!


**A Palletshipping one-shot! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing! Beside this fanfic of course!**

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This couldn't be happening. I stood up from the couch and held my head, feeling dizzy on my feet. "Gary..." I hear Ash say slowly, taking a step towards me. I shake my head and take a step back, looking up, slowly meeting his eyes with my own. "Please, tell me this is all a dream...right?" He bites his lip and studies his feet.

"No, Gary, it's not a dream. I'm leaving tomorrow. I've already made my mind up." I swallow slowly, not wanting to believe a word he was saying. "But, you promised-no we promised each other that-," he cut me off.

"Gary, I've made up my mind! I'm going to Unova!" "But why!?" "because!" he says, stopping to take a breath, "We, can't just runaway and leave home thinking no one will come looking for us!" "But..." I say, feeling myself starting to get choked up. All the emotions I held in we all starting to come to the surface.

"You can't go..." "Why not?" I looked at him dead in the eye, feeling tears start to stream down my face. "Because, I love you too much to let you go." I merely stared at me before shaking his head, and laughing bitterly.

"Well, I hate to say but it's hard to tell." I felt my heart crack at that very moment. "Ash," I say, slowly taking a step towards him only to have him take a step back.

"No Gary, I can't. I won't." "But, Ash it's not-," "It's not like what Gary?! Tell me!" he says, tears streaming down his face now. "It's not like you think..." I say quietly.

He slowly shakes his head the slightest bit before speaking again, "it's not what I think huh? Then what am I supposed to think everyday when you have to go out an preen your 'image' by surrounding yourself with whores and treating me like trash in public! Am I just another part of the 'Gary Oak look?!"

"Ashy, don't-," "Don't call me that! Never ever again!" he screamed back at me, he breath hitching, "Don-don-don't ever call me that again..." he says, tripping over his words and slowly crumbling to the ground.

I hurriedly move over to him to try to comfort him, but he merely smacks my hands away. "Don't!" I kneel next to him as he curls himself into a ball, hugging himself tightly.

I lay down next to him, back to back as he rolls over burying his face in my back. "I hate you so much Gary Oak..." he says calmly, his tears soaking my shirt. I sniffle as my own tears start to fall and nod, even though I know he can't see me. "I know, I hate myself too."

"I hate myself for doing this to you. I hate myself for trying to be something I'm not. I hate myself for not loving you enough. I hate myself for not SHOWING you that I loved you, and most of all, I hate myself for being Gary Oak." I say blankly, knowing it was the truth and at this point I had already royally screwed myself over.

I feel Ash roll back over, putting us back to back again before speaking quietly, "Then why...just why..."I sigh and turn over wrapping my arms around his waist and pulling him tightly against me, despite his protest. He put up a short fight before allowing me to rest my head on his forehead as I take a deep breath.

"I did it because I was a coward. I was afraid that if I put what I cared about in the light for everyone to see that someone would take it away from me. I was trying to avoid you getting hurt but ended up hurting you beyond healing. And me, being the coward I was too afraid to try and fix things. So instead I planned for us to run away, so I wouldn't feel like the only coward here. I just ended up a selfish idiot."

In the middle of my monologue I hadn't realized Ash had turned to face me. He had a small smile on his face, however his eyes where still full of pain and without warning he kissed me.

I pulled him closer deepening the kiss the slightest bit before we broke for air. "Gar-Bear..." Ash says slowly blushing, causing me to smile the slightest bit as he wipes the tears from his eyes.

"I don't care if you're a coward, it's okay for you to be afraid. Cause I am too." I pull him into a tight embrace, "That's what I was afraid of. I don't want you to have to live in fear." "But you do..." he whispers.

"I know," I say, not denying it. We lay there on the floor in silence, just listening to the other breathe before I ask the burning question. "Are you still leaving?" I ask nervously as he buries his head into my chest.

"Only if you'll be there."

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**This was a short little one-shot I had wanted to post forever but never got to! Hope you liked!~**


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